Magically Enhancing Your Skillups of your Enhancing Magic Skill

If you've played through missions of any home nation, then you're familiar with the above scene. You know why this galka was being emo? Because he didn't level his enhancing magic, that's why!

Is YOUR enhancing magic skill under par like this melancholy galka? Was it too much level syncing? Didn't your parents warn you about that! Too lazy for casting Shell and Barstonra on your party members? Bah! Well, your bus pass to easy street is finally here.

Here's the easiest way to level your enhancing magic:

Get the latest version of Windower and download the latest version plugins for AutoExec and Cancel. If you don't know where/how to get this stuff, then shame on you!

Now create open up Notepad, copy/paste the following text below and save the file as skillup_enhance.xml in your \Windower\Plugins\AutoExec directory.

<?xml version="1.0" ?>
<autoexec>
<register event="gainbuff_Barfire" >wait 4; input /ma "Barblizzara" <me></register>
<register event="gainbuff_Barblizzard">wait 4; input /ma "Baraera" <me></register>
<register event="gainbuff_Baraero" >wait 4; input /ma "Barstonra" <me></register>
<register event="gainbuff_Barstone" >wait 4; input /ma "Barthundra" <me></register>
<register event="gainbuff_Barthunder" >wait 4; input /ma "Barwatera" <me></register>
<register event="gainbuff_Barwater" >wait 4; input /ma "Barfira" <me></register>
<register event="mpp_100">wait 5; input /heal off; wait 5; input /ma "Barblizzara" <me></register>
<register event="criticalmp">cancel 100; cancel 101; cancel 102; cancel 103; cancel 104; cancel 105; cancel 107; input /heal on</register>
</autoexec>

Now start FFXI and jump on your WHM or a job high enough to sub WHM and cast most or all of the bar elemental spells. Now type //ae load skillup_enhance.xml to load up the skillup file. Now go to a remote corner of Vanadiel (don't you dare do this in Whitegate/Jeuno/any busy area because I'll slap you in the face with a fat slimy fish if you do). If you have the SpellCast plugin enabled, unload it and just equip all your healing MP gear that you can. Cast any bar elemental spell on yourself such as Barfira and don't move your character.

Now, watch in awe as your enhancing magic skill miraculously raise 112 levels in only 3 minutes. NOT. It's gonna take waaaaaay longer than that.

WinControl! Three modes that come in handy...

I don't know how I've done it all the times before: Sitting in front of my computer desk in a semi-comfortable leather office chair while staring at my 19" LCD monitor two feet away. Retired are those jaded days as now I am a fully fledged couch potato while engaging in all my FFXI endeavors.

Before:
- 19" LCD Monitor from Newegg.com (1280 x 960)
- 2 Desktop Speakers that kept giving me problems from Best Buy
- Some cramped up desk I bought from Office Depot
- Leather office chair from Staples

After:
- 65" 1080P DLP TV (1920 x 1080)
- 5.1 surround sound (Yes, it's old school. Shut up.)
- My lap and a blanket (Yay, winter is coming!)
- Leather couch with the most comfy cushions ever


With the help of some long USB, HDMI, AV cables, watching YouTube vids...oops, I mean...playing FFXI has brought on a new level of fun! With the screen now bigger yet farther away, I find it best to play in full mode and always on top so that I can read the chat log. However, there are times when I need to resize and slightly nudge Windower/FFXI upwards so I can view my Windows taskbar to view/access other applications that I have running. And when using Ventrilo, I like seeing the list of connected users while they talk.

After downloading the WinControl plugin, add the following binds to your Windower init.txt file if you would like to mirror how I use this plugin. Then, tinker with the settings to fit your screen's resolution.

My Three Windowed Modes
Fullscreen and Always on Top (Alt+C)
This is how gaming should be done...free yourself from desk/chair mode!
bind !c wincontrol alwaysontop true; wincontrol move 0 -7; wincontrol resize reset

Fullscreen with Windows Taskbar (Alt+X)
Just because alt-tabbing is sometimes a pain.
bind !x wincontrol alwaysontop false; wincontrol move 0 -17; wincontrol resize reset

Windowed Mode with Partial View of Desktop (Alt+Z)
Moves FFXI to top/right corner while Ventrilo is in top/left corner
bind !z wincontrol alwaysontop false; wincontrol move 235 -7; wincontrol resize 1600 900

With a small motion of my left hand, I can switch modes rather easily and quickly. Enjoy!

Done! Spellcast for Corsair

After many revisions and some 'trial and error's, my spellcast file for my Corsair is finally complete!

Go here for the actual spellcast code: http://windower.net/plugins/spellcast/userxml/cor/leybot_cor
(Spellcast 2.30 compliant! Last Major Update: 10/16/2009)

Covered Gearsets

• Quick Draw shots based on either MAB or AGI. This exludes elemental staves because I use two different sets of macros for shots based on what I'm doing (i.e. merit parties versus special events and ZNMs).
  
• WHM spells (cures, buffs and debuffs)
  
• Three types of ranged attack (based on accuracy, normal or STR)
  
• Weaponskills, melee combat and idle

Features

• When doing phantom rolls, it will also add the dice name and their lucky/unlucky numbers.
  
• Using variables, determine when to equip Luzaf's Ring for Phantom Rolls and Double-Ups. For Corsair's Roll, it will always equip it.
  
• Whether in melee combat or idle, it will switch gear accordingly after performing a ranged attack or Quick Draw shot.

If you fancy yourself a piret, give it a try and let me know how it works!

Rosetta Stone, Spellcast Edition!

If you're an avid user of Windower, the Spellcast plugin is something that you may have some degree of knowledge of. You've either heard about, but didn't care...or you wanted to use it, but it was beyond your brain's grasp to understand. Perhaps you're even some IT developer that drinks a lot of coffee and also pees a lot...and think that both XML and Spellcast are child's play.

On the other hand, if you're like me, learning how to harness the power of Spellcast has been a formidable task quite similar to Frodo Baggins and that hyped up ring. So before you turn in to the likes of Golum, let me tell you this: it's gonna take some work to understand it. So if your knowledge of programming is somewhere between XML guru or only being able to update your myspace page with your latest boobie pics, you'll have to do some homework first:

1. Put down the bong, I need you focused for this.

2. Immerse yourself in the basics of Spellcast as well as how to install it.

3. Install it. Duh!

4. In some cases, I will be using my Corsair as my example so familiarize yourself with it: http://wiki.windower.net/plugins/spellcast/userxml/cor/leybot_cor. It's my work in progress so there may be some errors in it currently.

Study them hard! In my next post, our first lesson will be setting up gear sets!

Good luck!

Safety Dance

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance
And if they don't dance
Well, they're no friends of mine...
- Safety Dance - Men Without Hats

Let's face it. None of the other races can look as elegant as a dancing Galka. You may think otherwise, but this statement is irrefutable. Nevertheless, we can all keep trying and keep on keeping on. Just dance for the sake of dancing. Forever.

Dance forever. How do you do just that?

1. Sign up for a Windower ballroom dance class.
   
2. In the scripts folder of your Windower directory, create a dance.txt file with the following contents:

echo "=== Start the Dance Marathon! ===";
echo "Use the Control-Escape Key to end this macro.";
plugin_unloadall
//Remove above line if you do NOT want to unload all your plugins.

alias stopDance01 alias Dance01 /;
alias stopDance02 alias Dance02 /;
alias stopDance03 alias Dance03 /;
alias stopDance04 alias Dance04 /;
alias stopDance05 alias Dance05 /;
alias stopDance06 alias Dance06 /;
alias stopDance07 alias Dance07 /;
alias stopDance08 alias Dance08 /;
alias stopDanceMarathon alias DanceMarathon /;

alias stop stopDance01;stopDance02;stopDance03;stopDance04;stopDance05;stopDance06;stopDance07;stopDance08;stopDanceMarathon;

bind ^escape stop; input /echo [Ending Dance Marathon]; exec init.txt;
//Remove the exec init.txt; portion of above line IF you removed 3rd line.

alias Dance01 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance02 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance03 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance04 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance05 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance06 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance07 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance08 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
//You can change up the above dance emotes here.
//The wait times after each dance emote can also be adjusted.
//Don't be a douchebag and remove the "motion" after each emote!

alias DanceMarathon exec Dance.txt;
alias DanceMarathon exec Dance.txt;

Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
DanceMarathon

What this script does:
First, this script unloads all your plugins (so that it won't interfere with them executing commands at same time). Then, it makes you perform 8 dance emotes in an infinite cycle. Upon pressing Ctrl+Esc, the script will stop running and then reload your plugins via your init.txt script. If you are still dancing, just move your character and he/she will stop.

To execute the script, type //exec dance.txt.

Paranoia

Ever wonder what those Whitegate shouts in Japanese are all about? Are you paranoid that they are talking about you and only you? Well, I'm afraid to break it to you...but they are. Gasp!

What are they saying? Who knows. Are they talking about the pics of yourself that you posted on your blog and how those skinny jeans really emphasize the need for you to lose weight? Are they talking about your superior tanking ability as WAR43/WHM9? Perhaps they're spreading gossip about you being the forgotten child of the Brangelina duo?

There's only one way to find out:

1. Put on your Windower foil hat.
   
2. Get your LogMon detective kit.
   
3. Now put on your Babelfish decoder ring.
   

After you start up FFXI, you can start up LogMon. Now head to Whitegate and hide behind the counter of Cacaroon the Qiqurn. Keep your eyes peeled. Wait for it.

Nekochobichan: 案ずるより産むが易し.

Aha~! Once you see that shady Japanese text come up in your chat log, toggle over to LogMon and copy the text. Now open up your web browser and go to Babelfish. Paste the text and select "Japanese to English" option. Now hit the Translate button!

Aha~! Wait, what?! Okay, maybe they weren't talking about you. And now that you've translated the text, you're even more confused than before.

What Babelfish says: Rather than worrying, you bear, but it is easy.
What it literally means: Giving birth to a baby is easier than worrying about it.
A Japanese proverb: 1. Fear is greater than the danger. 2. An attempt is sometimes easier than expected.

In any case, you can take off that foil hat because you now have the tools to spy on their open yet private shouts. I don't know if you'll be in a better predicament after all this, but any change is good. Am I right?

Epeen Macro Mastery

Are you one of those people that have 5 or 6 macros just to do a single weaponskill? Two macros dedicated to changing out your entire equipment sans your weapon(s). Another macro for your uber relic/mythic weaponskill. And then another couple more to change back into your TP/haste/melee setup. That sound about right?


Let's face it. You like to stroke your e-peen with weaponskill damage in the 4 digit range. Anything less is just unacceptable. In real life, you sport those Affliction t-shirts and have a PC rig that costs as much as the down payment you made on that lifted Hummer. When partying a lowbie job, you keep telling fellow party members of that sick damage you do against Kirin and how you pull out 3k sidewinders in merit parties. Yeah, brooooo. You're like awesome.

Okay, douchebags! It's time to listen to your new anthem and get cracking on some scripts! In this example, I'll use the rare job Samurai that no one really plays too much.

Here's what you'll need before stroking your epeen harder without a lot of macros:

1. Get some Windower lube for your epeen.
   
2. Create two (or three) text files and name them in the following format: [job][equip type].txt. For Samurai melee/tp, you can call it SAMmelee.txt. For single hit great katana weaponskills, name the file SAMws_single.txt. For multi hit weapons skills like penta thrust, create a file named SAMws_multi.txt.txt.
   
3. For each of the text files, the contents should be in the following format. Substitute in your own uber gear for each setup:

input /equip head "Ed Hardy Hat +1"
input /equip neck "Snoop Dogg 24K Gold Chain"
input /equip ear1 "Earring of Awesome Power"
input /equip ear2 "Earring of Powerful Awesomeness"
input /equip body "Affliction Tshirt +1"
input /equip hands "Abercrombie & Fitch Leather Wristbands"
input /equip ring1 "2009 Laker Championship Ring"
input /equip ring2 "Pimp ring of Pimped Out Pimpness"
input /equip back "Amemet Mantle +4"
input /equip waist "Douchebag Belt of the Bros +1"
input /equip legs "True Religion jeans of Ridiculousness"
input /equip feet "Chuck Taylor Converse +1"

Now that you have your gear text files created and saved in the Scripts folder of your Windower directory, let's make some macros for that elusive Samurai in mind!

Uber Gekko Macro
//exec SAMws_single.txt
/wait 1
/ws "Tachi: Gekko"
/wait 1
//exec SAMmelee.txt

Penta Thrust of Epeenery Macro
//exec SAMws_multi.txt
/wait 1
/ws "Penta Thrust"
/wait 1
//exec SAMmelee.txt

Bam! Two complete gear changes and your weaponskill ALL IN ONE single macro! Wassup brrrrrrooooo!!!

If you don't want to have ridiculous amounts of instantaneous "Equipment changed." in your chat log, download the Silence as well. It will condense all that nonsense into a single line.

Wanna step your game even more? Then check out Spellcast. Like Extenze, it'll lengthen your epeen even more and give it some girth.

Party hard and keep your mouth yappin' about your leetness!

Quit Staring At My Boobs!

For all you perverts out there, find a mithra or female hume wearing a Scorpion Harness...aka the Yokochichi armor (In Japanese, yoko is side and chichi is slang for boob). And position yourself to the left or right of her. Zoom in. Oh snap, side boob action! Take pictars!

Okay then, now that all the pervs are preoccupied for the next couple of hours let's talk about about being /check'd.

"Hornytoad examines you." That's the text you see when some curious player wants to check out your goods. No, I'm not talking about your side boob action. Perhaps, you don't want them checking you for any reason. Gimp armor? Underleveled sub job? While AFK in Whitegate, you don't want people to know that the Shellbuster you're holding isn't really a Kraken Club?

Whichever the case, I'm not going to question your reasons. Here's what you'll need to stave off the pervs and voyeurs:

1. Take a Windower self defense class.
   
2. Carry around a spray can of Autoexec mace.
   
3. Include the following line in your Autoexec.xml file: <import>Examined.xml</import>
   
4. Create an Examined.xml file with the following content:
   <?xml version="1.0" ?>
   <autoexec>
   
   <!-- Actions upon being examined -->
   
   <register event="examined_*">input /equip head; wait 1; input /equip head "Eyepatch"</register>
   
   </autoexec>

The above will make you blink and cause the would-be checker to close your equipment screen. Woohoo!

Suppose there are certain people that shared with you their interest in tentacle hentai porn and adding them to your blacklist wasn't enough. You want to take specific action if these particular people /check you. Here's what you can do. Add the following line(s) above the "examined_*" line of the Examined.xml file:

<register event="examined_Tentacleman">input /slap Tentacleman</register>
<register event="examined_Hentaiwarier">input /tell Hentaiwarier GO F URSELF!</register>

Okay, I think you get the idea of what you can do. Remember female humes and mithra, put on your pants and don't equip the Yokochichi while AFK...unless you mean to do that on purpose, then you're probably the type that has a tramp stamp tattoo on your lower backside with your thong gratuitously showing above your low-rise jeans. Classy! Like me!

It's Friday, I'm in love

"I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love..."

Great song.

For some of you, you never go outside. The only light you get is from the lamp adjacent to your computer monitor. Chances are, you may not even know what day it is in real life. On the other hand, you know the elemental days of the week, the weather in all of Vollbow region and which direction to face while crafting with fire crystals. You can recite the days' order forwards, backwards, with one leg tied behind your neck while being tickled by a ketchup bottle.

As for the rest of us, however miniscule that number may be, it is quite the opposite. Yep. I still don't really know the order. Gag me with your ketchup bottle. That's why I have this nifty trick that reminds me the order without having to toggle to my web browser set to FFXIclopedia.

To perform this magic trick, you'll need:
1. Wave a magician's wand around and install the latest version of Windower.
2. Out of a top hat, pull up the Autoexec plugin by it's ears.
3. Conjure up an XML file called "DaysOfWeek.xml". The contents should be as follows:

<?xml version="1.0" ?>
<autoexec>
<!-- Days of the Week -->
<register event="day_Firesday" >input /clock on; input /echo Tomorrow: Earthsday</register>
<register event="day_Earthsday" >input /clock on; input /echo Tomorrow: Watersday</register>
<register event="day_Watersday" >input /clock on; input /echo Tomorrow: Windsday</register>
<register event="day_Windsday" >input /clock on; input /echo Tomorrow: Iceday</register>
<register event="day_Iceday" >input /clock on; input /echo Tomorrow: Lightningday</register>
<register event="day_Lightningday">input /clock on; input /echo Tomorrow: Lightsday</register>
<register event="day_Lightsday" >input /clock on; input /echo Tomorrow: Darksday</register>
<register event="day_Darksday" >input /clock on; input /echo Tomorrow: Firesday</register>
</autoexec>

4. Include the following line in your AutoExec.xml file:

<import>DaysWeek.xml</import>

If done properly, at the turn of each day, /clock on will activate as well an echo message of what tomorrow will be. How fun is that!

Note: I'm assuming you have knowledge of how to use Windower and how to familiarize yourself with the available plugins. If not, it's time to do your homework.

Ranger G-spot & Unlimited Shot

Oooh. A little to the left. Mmmm. Okay now, move up more. No wait, that's too much. Sweet feathery Jesus, OMG that's it!

Still trying to find the Sweet Spot to maximize your damage with your pew pew? Yes, it varies with gun, bow and crossbow...and maybe even that pebble you like to throw at worms. So you want to find it faster so you can quickly lay that monster...to the ground? Here's what you'll need to do:

1. Go to the book store and buy Dr. Ruth's copy of "How to satisfy your mate with Windower".
   
2. Skip to chapter 4, "Finding the elusive G-spot with your Distance plugin".
   
3. Depending on the size of your weapon, you may have to stand closer or farther away. Get a ruler to see how your weapon measures up or just go here.

The distances on FFXIclopedia aren't the same as what you'll see exactly using the distance plugin, but you'll figure it out in the end.

And remember to always practice safety first as well. You don't wanna be sticking your Patriarch Protector's Arrow into something unclean without first slapping on Unlimited Shot. You'll need three macros to get the job done.

Ranged Attack
Use this while shooting for TP. Unequips any ammo and equips TP ammo, then fires it while announcing your TP level. The last line is optional, but is helpful for those that aren't typically engaged while shooting for TP.
/equip ammo
/equip ammo "Demon arrow"
/ra <t>
/echo TP<tp>

Unlimited Shot
Unfortunately, this one isn't entirely stupid-proof. If Unlimited Shot is still on recast, do NOT use weaponskill! If you chose not to WS or the JA is not up, it will switch back to your normal ammo after X seconds. X is equal to whatever you're comfortable with. If JA is ready, then be sure to fire off your Sidewinder macro before X seconds.
/ja "Unlimited Shot" <me>
/equip ammo "Patriarch Protector's Arrow"
/wait X
/equip ammo
/equip ammo "Demon arrow"

Sidewinder
Time for the money shot. Thrust this macro before "X" second from the above macro. It will send your PPA spiralling and then safely return to your regular ammo.
/ws "Sidewinder" <t>
/wait 1
/equip ammo
/equip ammo "Demon arrow"

I hope this helps you as much as it helped me. And remember folks, you don't wanna go out like Willy Lump Lump. Slap it on extra tight!

Spectral Jig

"WTFcakes!"

You've probably said that a couple times or so when sneaking and invising around monsters that can facerape you with just their pinky. Whether it be DNC main or /DNC, you've all wished that this job ability would last longer. (At least it's better than a RNG's Camouflage!)

So here's the recipe for some easy and smart Spectral Jig:

Ingredients:
1. One quart of Windower cake batter.
2. Three cups of Cancel plugin frosting.
3. A pinch of Macro know-how

Cook #1 until golden brown. Apply #2 frosting after cooling. Now create the following macro:

//cancel 71
//cancel 69
/ja "Spectral Jig" <me>

The first and second line will cancel your sneak and invis. The third line will obviously instant cast your job ability. No more manually cancelling your sneak and invis and then pounding your macro like pizza dough.

Note: You can not mash this macro. If you do, you will cancel your freshly baked Spectral Jig. Think of it as a delicate souffle. Be smart of where and when you do this. There are some monsters that will aggro the use of Job Abilities or your stupidity.