Safety Dance

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance
And if they don't dance
Well, they're no friends of mine...
- Safety Dance - Men Without Hats

Let's face it. None of the other races can look as elegant as a dancing Galka. You may think otherwise, but this statement is irrefutable. Nevertheless, we can all keep trying and keep on keeping on. Just dance for the sake of dancing. Forever.

Dance forever. How do you do just that?

1. Sign up for a Windower ballroom dance class.
   
2. In the scripts folder of your Windower directory, create a dance.txt file with the following contents:

echo "=== Start the Dance Marathon! ===";
echo "Use the Control-Escape Key to end this macro.";
plugin_unloadall
//Remove above line if you do NOT want to unload all your plugins.

alias stopDance01 alias Dance01 /;
alias stopDance02 alias Dance02 /;
alias stopDance03 alias Dance03 /;
alias stopDance04 alias Dance04 /;
alias stopDance05 alias Dance05 /;
alias stopDance06 alias Dance06 /;
alias stopDance07 alias Dance07 /;
alias stopDance08 alias Dance08 /;
alias stopDanceMarathon alias DanceMarathon /;

alias stop stopDance01;stopDance02;stopDance03;stopDance04;stopDance05;stopDance06;stopDance07;stopDance08;stopDanceMarathon;

bind ^escape stop; input /echo [Ending Dance Marathon]; exec init.txt;
//Remove the exec init.txt; portion of above line IF you removed 3rd line.

alias Dance01 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance02 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance03 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance04 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance05 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance06 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance07 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
alias Dance08 input /dance4 motion; wait 3;
//You can change up the above dance emotes here.
//The wait times after each dance emote can also be adjusted.
//Don't be a douchebag and remove the "motion" after each emote!

alias DanceMarathon exec Dance.txt;
alias DanceMarathon exec Dance.txt;

Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
Dance01; Dance02; Dance03; Dance04;
Dance05; Dance06; Dance07; Dance08;
DanceMarathon

What this script does:
First, this script unloads all your plugins (so that it won't interfere with them executing commands at same time). Then, it makes you perform 8 dance emotes in an infinite cycle. Upon pressing Ctrl+Esc, the script will stop running and then reload your plugins via your init.txt script. If you are still dancing, just move your character and he/she will stop.

To execute the script, type //exec dance.txt.

Epeen Macro Mastery

Are you one of those people that have 5 or 6 macros just to do a single weaponskill? Two macros dedicated to changing out your entire equipment sans your weapon(s). Another macro for your uber relic/mythic weaponskill. And then another couple more to change back into your TP/haste/melee setup. That sound about right?


Let's face it. You like to stroke your e-peen with weaponskill damage in the 4 digit range. Anything less is just unacceptable. In real life, you sport those Affliction t-shirts and have a PC rig that costs as much as the down payment you made on that lifted Hummer. When partying a lowbie job, you keep telling fellow party members of that sick damage you do against Kirin and how you pull out 3k sidewinders in merit parties. Yeah, brooooo. You're like awesome.

Okay, douchebags! It's time to listen to your new anthem and get cracking on some scripts! In this example, I'll use the rare job Samurai that no one really plays too much.

Here's what you'll need before stroking your epeen harder without a lot of macros:

1. Get some Windower lube for your epeen.
   
2. Create two (or three) text files and name them in the following format: [job][equip type].txt. For Samurai melee/tp, you can call it SAMmelee.txt. For single hit great katana weaponskills, name the file SAMws_single.txt. For multi hit weapons skills like penta thrust, create a file named SAMws_multi.txt.txt.
   
3. For each of the text files, the contents should be in the following format. Substitute in your own uber gear for each setup:

input /equip head "Ed Hardy Hat +1"
input /equip neck "Snoop Dogg 24K Gold Chain"
input /equip ear1 "Earring of Awesome Power"
input /equip ear2 "Earring of Powerful Awesomeness"
input /equip body "Affliction Tshirt +1"
input /equip hands "Abercrombie & Fitch Leather Wristbands"
input /equip ring1 "2009 Laker Championship Ring"
input /equip ring2 "Pimp ring of Pimped Out Pimpness"
input /equip back "Amemet Mantle +4"
input /equip waist "Douchebag Belt of the Bros +1"
input /equip legs "True Religion jeans of Ridiculousness"
input /equip feet "Chuck Taylor Converse +1"

Now that you have your gear text files created and saved in the Scripts folder of your Windower directory, let's make some macros for that elusive Samurai in mind!

Uber Gekko Macro
//exec SAMws_single.txt
/wait 1
/ws "Tachi: Gekko"
/wait 1
//exec SAMmelee.txt

Penta Thrust of Epeenery Macro
//exec SAMws_multi.txt
/wait 1
/ws "Penta Thrust"
/wait 1
//exec SAMmelee.txt

Bam! Two complete gear changes and your weaponskill ALL IN ONE single macro! Wassup brrrrrrooooo!!!

If you don't want to have ridiculous amounts of instantaneous "Equipment changed." in your chat log, download the Silence as well. It will condense all that nonsense into a single line.

Wanna step your game even more? Then check out Spellcast. Like Extenze, it'll lengthen your epeen even more and give it some girth.

Party hard and keep your mouth yappin' about your leetness!